Beauty in Silence

Lately my writing has been stifled by my own insecure nature, as well as my ever racing mind. I’ve found it hardest to write when my mind is in chaos, when the ideas are tumbling and bounding down the hills of my imagination. And then the words become jumbled, and I become frustrated- trying to pull weeds to get to the roses. What a tedious job it is! So once I write a sentence I find imperfections too distracting to continue; and too discouraging to keep on an otherwise a blank page. Perhaps the paper is at times to blame, too crisp I feel I will stain it with the wrong words.

So now here I am, writing, slowly and surely getting one word down at a time.

My mind can be so relentless; perhaps I feed it too often and it can’t digest before I’ve moved on to yet another idea, another word, another dream.

Lately, I’ve been surrounding myself with noise. Silence can be my worst enemy, in that it causes me to fill it with thoughts that become too loud. I choose to plug up my ears with the thoughts of others far too often it would seem. Yet I plead it’s for self-preservation.

Today though, I’ve chosen to write in silence- save for the fan whirring in the distance, the clatter of my fingers on the keys, and the occasional ‘meow’ from Scout. And sometimes, this is liberating. I can will myself to be anywhere my mind chooses. At this moment, I have chosen 19^th century England, the birthplace of Jane Austen as well as her fine literary characters. At times such as these I like to imagine myself as Miss Elizabeth Bennet; so passionate and fiery and so ready for an adventure.

I often wonder what it was like to live in such a time; where there was only silence and the every so often conversation. I imagine mankind was far better off with less distractions; I curse the day head phones were created- as it seems I can’t bear a moment without some sort of music or voice flowing in through my ears. Yet imagine, our ancestors knew not of such noise. How did they live?

Perhaps it was much the same state I am in at the present- at peace. It’s wonderful to feel at peace in silence- considering how rarely I experience it. It’s become a sort of chicken vs. the egg situation, in that I do not know which created the cycle- the silence or the noise? Was I running away from either, or both?

A part of me revels in distraction- not procrastination, mind you- namely the distraction from my thoughts, from the critic living inside my head. And I’ve learned that loud volumes can drown out the nonsense; as well as the pile up of information found in books. Often, have I wondered, if this is healthy. My gut tells me no, so does my mind. I suppose I should start listening.

So today, I established a goal- to embrace the bore of silence. Rather than run from my thoughts, I will embrace them on a more frequent level- with openness of mind. Yet I also would like to imagine more- save from the anxious scenarios I put myself through each and every day. No, I would like to imagine myself in peace, as I am doing today. And it’s a real peace, one tangible and full of the things I love and admire.

Maybe I need to take a lesson from Scout- she manages just fine in her own little world.

Isn’t that right, Scout?

“Meeoooww.”

I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, Scout.

I've now noticed that this particular post is just more or less my rambling thoughts, with no real string tying them together. I promise to deliver next time I sit down at my keyboard...

But regardless, Scout and I wish you a  

Happy Reading.

Hooked on Books: "And Then There Were None"

I go through many phases in my hobbies, as well as in my interests. I don’t just merely “enjoy” something, I obsess. It torments my mind and soul until one day- it’s over. And I can attach myself to yet another something- another TV show, another book series, another activity. I remember when I was a child, how I would bounce back and forth between drawing, painting, reading, writing, singing, dancing- and it would last for a good month, or week until I found I had driven myself utterly mad. It would consume my every waking thought.

When I reached high school I was much the same in my studies. I had to master one thing, until I could move on. My mind wouldn’t allow me to start on anything new until I had beaten my new obsession into oblivion. That is why to this day I can recite to you the history of the Romanov family, the origin of fairy tales, Jane Austen’s everyday life, and the premise of Star Wars.

Over the past months I’ve dabbled in many things, yet the most recent, and the one this particular post is about, has to do with murder.

But don’t worry.

I’m a writer.

I’ve been a fan of Agatha Christie for some time now, yet more in word only. I had not read any of her novels, yet still had great appreciation for all she has done as a writer. To be honest, I was a little hesitant to start one of her novels. I thought that perhaps the hubbub was overplayed, due to her being a woman- a true minority in the ‘crime/detective’ genre. (Sorry, feminists, it’s just facts.) So, for the longest time I steered clear. Plus, I thought my mystery loving days were long over- dying out in my Scooby Doo faze. That is, until I found a little novel (and it is quite little- under 300 pages) that awakened the detective of my youth.

“And Then There Were None”, by Agatha Christie, was published in the U.S, December 1939. Today, it is thought to be her “masterpiece”, and is the world’s best-selling mystery novel. For that, I was intrigued. I was to be the judge of that.

The verdict?

Well, let’s see…

Soldier Island is our setting, and it’s a rather ominous setting at that. Ten strangers are sent letters by a mysterious U.N Owen, claiming to be an acquaintance of some, an employer to others, as well as the host to a few. Each and every one of these individuals carries a scar, a judgement, which are soon revealed.

Vera Claythorne- An ex-governess traveling to the island to play secretary for a "Mrs. Owen". Young and beautiful, yet harboring a secret she is all to eager to run away from.

Judge Lawrence Wargrave- A retired judge, and born leader. His experience and authority become clear to the others, as well as his cold and calculated view of the crisis at hand.

Philip Lombard- With perhaps the most vicious past of all the strangers, Philip proves to be the most haunted of all the residents. His lackadaisical view of death lead many to question his motives for traveling to Soldier Island.

Dr. Edward George Armstrong- A twitchy recovering alcoholic, with a fragile constitution for stress. An easy suspect if I ever saw one.

William Henry Blore- A former member of the police- hardheaded, over-confident, yet takes control easily. He hasn't a problem accusing others for crimes.

Emily Brent- Elderly, religious, and over righteous. She doesn't feel remorse for her past misdemeanors; leading one to think of what else she is capable of doing?

General Macarthur- The oldest of the guests. His acceptance of death starts early on, as the murders first begin. Perhaps this is punishment, perhaps they are dead already.

Anthony Marston- Handsome, young, and wealthy. He shows a lack of conscience, a lack of common sense, and an immortal view of life.

Ethel Rogers- Wife to Thomas Rogers, and housekeeper for the Owens. Recently hired, and very frail, she is eager to please her new employers as of which she has never met.

Thomas Rogers- Butler; A noble servant for the guests throughout their stay. He continues his duties amid murder, and talk of a psychopath in their midst.

Following the sequence of a haunting nursery rhyme, one by one, they are murdered. Leaving the survivors to wonder if any of them will survive. Leaving me to wonder as well.

In the first chapter I was convinced I had it- I had solved it.

Yet I was wrong.

And after the first few murders…

I was still wrong.

And so it went for 200 pages.

Agatha Christie I tip my hat to you, and this truly delightful novel.

Many, strive for the perfect crime, the perfect murder, and by golly she has done it.

The gothic style of writing was simple, and flowed from one page to the next. She has created a setting that peaked my love of darkness, and danger. An island serving as home to a murderer, leaving many questions in their wake.

“What is the motive?”

“Why these victims?”

“Why now?”

“Were they here the entire time?”

“Or did they arrive with the others?”

“Who is this U.N Owen?”

I can promise now that Agatha Christie will be a regular on my bookshelf. I can also promise that this novel will be reread many times.

Also, AFTER you pick up your own copy, and read it all the way through, THEN please check out the latest movie adaptation starring ‘Podark’s’ Aidan Turner as well as ‘Romeo and Juliet’s’ Douglas Booth. It is a beautiful work of cinematography, and stays very true to the novel- as of which I appreciated.

Now the only question left for me to consider is

“What will my new obsession be?”

*Notices there are 9 seasons of X-Files on Netflix*

*Turns phone on silent*

*Grabs jar of Nutella*

And there you have it! Get out there and obsess over something! It’ll be good for ya, doctor prescribed. Oh, and READ A BOOK!

Until next time,

Happy Reading.

And Happy Obsessing!