New York should be my worst nightmare, and in fact it was for quite some time. It bewildered me! The thought of an upwards of 19 million people living, and comingling with one another in such a small place was fact enough for me to stay far far away. I occasionally grow overwhelmed in Wichita traffic, let alone the traffic I only imagined in NYC.
I pictured a colony of ants, piling on top of one another, toppling and squirming over other ants, fighting for survival, survival of the fittest. So obviously, my view of New York was less than favorable, in that I no longer pictured human beings, rather mere instinctual insects with phenomenal building skills.
So, I'm sure you're wondering how I survived such a trip, and if it's possible for you to do the same.
Here's some advice, from the expert, from the girl who lived to tell the tale.
Navigating New York With Kansas Mentality
1. NYC is only a small portion of the state. It’s called New York CITY for a reason, I suppose. The expectation was 5th Avenue, upon 5th Avenue, upon 5th Avenue. The reality was much more peaceful, and quaint. Away from the bright lights, and skyscrapers is a very beautiful and picturesque state. So get out of New York City!
2. My group learned this the hard way- Don’t Drive! If you think it’s a good idea, I’m here to tell you it’s not. I will say though that if you have a large family, then yes by all means pack them all up and just drive. Yet don’t drive in the city, please. I’ve grown angry at the movie industry for the poor portrayal of NYC parking. Subways are good, buses (in my fair opinion) were even better. Also, we have these things called legs, and feet. They work wonders.
3. When traveling with kids you will learn that the word “bored” can be said an upwards of twenty thousand times a minute. (True statistics, I promise!) So be prepared for a lot of hyper tiny people making grabs for your phone. I would suggest preparation in the form of ANYTHING! Ipads with Netflix, notebooks and crayons, a Gameboy (do those still exist?), etc. Busy children = quiet children.
4. Another thing with kids is that their walking window is very small, in that they tire out very quickly or grow uninterested very quickly. Have the mentality that allows for breaks, and frequent rest stops. Also, keep them engaged on the journey. When they have something to look forward to, or a destination of their choice they’ll walk a lot quicker, I assure you. (I suggest the LEGO store. That got me going too!)
5. YELP will become your best friend. For those of you living under a rock, YELP is an app you can easily download on your phone and will save you many terrible dining experiences. Granted, sometimes it’s unreliable. For instance, Taco Bell was given 4 ½ stars out of 5. Yet don’t let this discourage you! Go for cheap, have no fear, don’t judge a restaurant by its sign, and always check the chicken before you eat it.
6. You will want to stare, believe me! The city is full of every walk of life, full of every sort of person, hairstyle, outfit, everything. Don’t be alarmed. To prevent unattractive staring, much like a tourist, simply take a quick peak followed by aloof deadpan glances at the ground. The few New Yorkers I observed were absolute pros at it.
7. As stated in Tip #1, NYC isn’t all there is to see. There are many little towns, sans Stars Hollow, that are just waiting to be explored. I felt as ease strolling down the windy roads, high up in the mountains, exploring the many bookstores and antique shops along my way. Warwick, Pine Bush, and Gardiner are three whimsical towns that would warrant an unexpected stop.
8. While seeing a show on Broadway keep in mind that if you’re wearing a suit, dress, or any such finery you will be extremely overdressed. (This tip was inspired by Mr. Jurassic Park t-shirt. Sir, tucking in your shirt which happens to have a dinosaur on it does not make it any less casual. The Angel of Music is very strict!)
9. You won’t see a celebrity. You just won’t. They have some sort of secret transit system I’m certain they use. Yet you can convince yourself of otherwise. I’m still telling everyone I saw Jimmy Fallon, or at least a look alike.
10. Go to the MET as early as you can for the full experience! And take many selfies with the statues, the guards just love it! And please don’t pay just a dollar, you look tacky and people will follow you around with shame-face the entire time.
11. Central Park is for coffee and French macaroons. Let the kids run wild. Enjoy the live music. You deserve a break.
12. When dealing with anxiety in the city know you’re not alone. You’re basically another sardine packed with all the other sardines just trying to cross the street. Take deep breathes, smell that hot trash, and thank your stars you don’t have to do this every day. Yet, while you’re there take it all in, plan on adventures, allow yourself to actually enjoy people because there’s gonna be a lot of them.
13. And above all- don’t forget to tip the characters in Times Square. They want your money, and they will get it one way or another.
I suppose it wasn't until we were packed yet again to the brim with the open road ahead of us, and 21 hours of driving in our immediate future, that I really took time to reminisce. It was such a pleasant trip, more pleasant than I could've ever imagined, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Well, maybe in a few heartbeats, because I have a cat that needs some attention.
And now that I'm in Kansas again, home again, I hope to provide more posts in the near future. You know, that is if I'm not busy living the adventures and have time to write a few.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is, stay tuned!
Happy Reading.
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